I Used To Be Invisible To You, Now You Cum To My Pictures: Self-Worth & Body Confidence for Women (Revisited)

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Hiding my body has always been normal for me. I wore things to hide my assets—oversized hoodies I could shrink into, baggy clothing so men wouldn’t think I was an easy target, or so women wouldn’t think I was showing off to their husbands. The more I could hide, the safer I felt. Learning body confidence for women isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about unlearning the shame you were taught to carry.

I’ve had jobs that wouldn’t shut up about how low my shirts were, & it made shopping for work clothes stressful as hell—because something I thought was perfect would end up being “too revealing” for others. I've got big boobs, it's hard NOT to have cleavage. Plus, I fucking love my cleavage. If you have an issue with it, don't look. I am working hard to love the body I’m in—no matter what phase it goes through.

Unfortunately, catty bitches who can't stand confidence in a woman seem to like to tear others down & one of the easiest "jabs" that catty women grab onto is to be judgmental about another woman's look, whether it's her hair, her clothes, or something about her body that she has no control over.

Again, this isn't progress. As women, we should help each other feel good about ourselves, especially on the days when we feel less than.

I was showing my body that I didn't love it. I was showing it that I cared more about what people thought than how good it had been to me. I would do whatever I could to avoid being leered at or making another woman uncomfortable. The more I hid, the longer I stayed insecure, & hiding who I was became a habit. I was allowing people to demand that I hide my natural curves, instead of asking why they are more focused on that than their own lives. I’m not only learning to love my body, but myself—the person I was made to be. I'm learning to love everything about me, the good & the bad. I work hard to grow through the bad, but I work just as hard to protect the good. I’m learning to stand up for myself without attacking.

I’ve hunched my shoulders to seem smaller, less intimidating, because I’m tall & can feel when someone else is insecure around me—even when it has nothing to do with me. I tone down my alpha so another alpha doesn’t feel disrespected—because I refuse to entertain drama. I've bitten my tongue when I should speak up. I am unobservant when I need to pay attention, but I also observe & stay silent. I know when women are being shady & are out for the attention that they don't get in their own homes. I know when a woman feels threatened, so she tries to make others feel small. I do not compete with anyone & I do my best to make everyone around me feel good about themselves. I’ve even shrunk myself into corners just so someone else could shine—just to avoid the competitiveness.

Trust me, people see me even when I try to shrink. I don’t need to make others feel small to feel big or to be seen.

All of this hiding was for other people, & I'm done forcing myself to be so worried about what others think that I lose my uniqueness & my ability to shine. I lose the enjoyment of whatever activity I am doing. If your husband looks down my shirt, bring it up to him, not me. If I look sexy to you, I appreciate the compliments, but don't be creepy about it. Take the fuckin' hint when I set a boundary.

If I wear something that genuinely doesn’t look good on me, though—fucking tell me. I have no style & clearly need supervision when it comes to my wardrobe.

I'm never out there to make others feel bad, but if I wear makeup on a day that you don't, don't make it about you. Don't let it make you feel less confident. You’re not any less beautiful—I’m just showing up as me. There's going to be a day when the roles are reversed, & that's totally cool to me. I don't mind looking like a Beautiful Disaster Lit on the outside at times, & if you're rocking your look, I'm going to make sure you know it.

It's time for us all to celebrate others, help the person next to you stand tall, & feel proud of who they are. Stop being so insecure that you can't compliment somebody that you think looks better than you. We are all fucking Beautiful & we each have a unique beauty that nobody else has. What is Beautiful to one person may be overlooked by another, & that's ok. Just because you think somebody is better looking than you, doesn't mean that you're any less amazing or Beautiful.

Appreciate the beauty in yourself & everyone around you. (Unless they're being a twat)

I thank all of you beautiful people who have been reading my blog since the beginning, & those who are new. Keep shining & being the Beauty that we all know you are.

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🖤💋💨