The World is a Dumpster Fire: Focus on What You Can Control

Y'all, the world is a dumpster fire. Everyone has lost their goddamn minds. War, soaring prices on fucking everything, job scarcity, food scarcity, homelessness, protests, counter-protests, counter-counter-counter protests, AI taking over, POP MUSIC, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and on and on and on… It's enough to drive us collectively, Stanley Kowalski-style, to our knees crying in heartbreaking anguish, "STELLA!!!"

Sexy Marlon Brando in a wet, ripped t-shirt aside, how the hell are you holding up? You, you, you, you, and you in the back left corner? You alright?

I'm not entirely sure I am. This year just keeps knocking me for a loop. It's been a few great things, a whole mess of yet another not super important but I still have to deal with them curveballs, and a couple all-out ball-busting bad mother forkers. Uncle, I say, UNCLE!

There are at least 25,453 ways to cope. You've seen them scroll through your feeds, been told what to do by well-meaning therapists, family members, neighbors, and strangers in the grocery store. And you intrinsically know eating a half-gallon of Tillamook Oregon Black Cherry ice cream in one sitting is probably not a good idea, but have done it anyway, with a big chocolate syrup chaser.

I recently stumbled upon something that may not be new to you, but was an a-ha moment for me. I've been calling it my "Control List." Let me explain with an example.

I was talking with a family member who was having a hard time with the fact that the US is at war. They were worried about gas prices, the power grid failing, nuclear attack, running out of food, the whole nine yards. And rightly so. This isn't a Call of Duty Saturday night with friends. People are dying. War is no joke, and it should be taken seriously.

But focusing on all that could happen was taking them to a very dark place. So we started focusing on things within their control. Could they make the president pull our troops out of Iran? Nope. Could they turn off the TV and not watch CNN 24/7? Absofuckinglutely.

Get it?

Focus on what you can control and do that. In the example above, we turned off CNN. We talked about stocking up on a few food staples and necessities. Talked about carpooling or taking the bus to save on gas money. We even talked about going to a protest. Not my thing, if you can believe that, but my family member is going to one later this month. That is something she can control and helps her feel like she's making a different. I say, "You go, girl!"

So here's my personal control list. These are things I can do to keep my cool in this crazy, forked up messy world to keep myself from going nutty. Your will probably be different, but I bet we have a few similarities.

Doomscrolling has ceased. I have mostly unplugged from news feeds. Who the hell knows what's real and what's AI-generated propaganda, anyway? Besides, videos of pandas rolling down hills and playing in their baths are soooooooooo much cuter!

And what I do watch or listen to, I've been making sure is that makes me happy. If true crime makes you happy, by all means, but that's not my jam. I prefer a light comedy or something geeky. I drive a lot because of work now, so I've been listening to a lot of podcasts. Amy Poehler's Good Hang podcast was a goldmine of a find for me. She just sits around and chats with celebrities she knows. Like they're out for coffee and have been BFFs forever. And she asks every guest, "What are you watching or listening to that makes you laugh?" Great question, Amy! I am watching you!

And I can't get enough of Star Talk with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh my GOD, he is funny. And so damn smart. Makes me so happy!

And for the perverts in the back of the room, check out Shoresy on Hulu. WARNING: Do not watch this show with your mother!

I can control what I eat. Now, this one I am personally NOT good at every day, curse you Cool Ranch Doritos!, but on the days I choose to eat healthy, I feel enormously better physically. And when you physically feel better, your mental health hitches a ride and your mood follows.

A good and consistent sleep schedule works wonders for body and soul as well. And I make a good cup of Pu'erh tea every morning. Tea just gets me off to a good start. How do you smart-start your day?

Now, this one might just be me. I LLOOVVEE lists. They help me focus, help me remember things in my, ahem, later years, and the joy of scribbling things off it is the literal fucking best. I have a grocery list, a to-do list, a to-do eventually list, a list for when there's an event (like for travel prep), and so on. God, I just feel so much better with lists around. I can't really explain it. OCD, anyone?

A couple of weeks ago, I had a REALLY bad day, and it was on a day when I had a lot to do and had to keep it together for many reasons. I was visibly nervous and anxious, and I couldn't focus. So I wrote a list. It focused me, brought my blood pressure down, and I ended up kicking ass that day. LISTS FTW!!!

See, here I am making another list. Ha!

And just to prove my list obsession, here's a link to another article I wrote about to-don't list. Ha again!

https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/to-don-t-lists-a-powerful-tool-for-just-about-any-situation

My attitude. Boy howdy, is this one hard, or what?! With all these hits that have been coming lately, it's been really hard to keep in a good attitude, just in general, let alone in specific situations. I am just WORN DOWN with it all. Lethargic often, and without drive and purpose. So I have picked one thing that I know will always boost my mood, and I've been doing it every day. I've been getting my garden going. I love watching things grow from teeny-tiny seeds into giant plants. It really is quite amazing if you think about it. What's one thing you can do that always boosts your attitude?

And just as a reminder as I close out this out, here's the list of things you can't control: what other people do, say, or feel, the past, the present, the future, the governments of the world, life's curveballs, the weather, AI, or what terrible pop music is produced and floods the airways. Yeah, sorry about that last one. It's a doozy, but it's true.

It all comes down to how we treat ourselves. If a friend were going through a hard time, what would you do for them? Treat yourself like you treat your BFF in hard times, with compassion, understanding, and love. Remember Barf from Spaceballs? (Dating myself here, I'm sure!) He had the right idea. "I'm a Mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!" Be your own best friend, folx. It might be the only way we'll get out of this dumpster fire alive.

So I want to hear it, BDLers. How do you cope when the s*** hits the fan?