The Ridiculous Things of Life Volume 1: Dogs & Babies

Every once in a while, it's good just to sit back and revel in the ridiculous things of life. There's so much ugly and yuck in the world right now that if we focus on it too much, I think we might just lose our collective minds. So I've come up with a plan. A ridiculous plan. I am going to do a series called 'The RidiculousThings of Life'. And we'll use ridiculous in three ways: 1. ridiculous as in silly, 2. ridiculous as in absurd, and 3. ridiculous as in an off-the-hook OMG WOW factor. That's the only requirement for these articles, ridiculousness. I have some HEAVY topics coming up, so I will need the balance. I think this is a fanfuckingtastic idea, don't you? So let's dive into The Ridiculous Things of Life Volume 1: Dogs & Babies!

Have you ever noticed how similar our youngest humans (babies/toddlers) are to dogs?

This has been tickling my brain for a while now, and is rearing its cute little head recently as I spend time with both my newest grandkiddo (5 months) and my doofus of a dog Remi (1 and a half years), also known as Sir Remington of Barksville Manor for you high society types.

Sir Remington of Barksville Manor

First up, fetch. Every dog I have ever known has LOVED a good game of fetch. Although, all the dogs I've owned haven't been good at it. I will throw a ball or a stick, and they might chase it, but rarely bring it back. (I'm not sure if that says more about me or them. Ha!) Remi loves to chase whatever I throw for him, but then he goes and hides it, like it's his Precious a la Golum from Lord of the Rings. I love to tease him, though. And throw another toy to distract him when he's running off with his current toy to hide it. Oh, the conflict in his eyes! 'Should I drop this one and go get that one? Or keep going?' Cracks me up! Every once in a while, he'll get two toys in his mouth. The joy that brings him is palpable!

I have very fond memories of playing fetch with my kids and my two older grandkiddos. Once they can toddle, it's a great way to entertain and distract them. One time when my son was 1-year-old or so, he went after a ball so fast he lost his footing and did a header into a cabinet. He had the biggest goose egg! And quite a headache, I'm sure! Poor dear. I felt awful, but we were back at it a couple of days later. It's such a simple game for both young humans and dogs. And they both love it!

And if you've ever "fake thrown" a ball for a tiny human or dog and then laughed hysterically when they rushed to find it only to be super confused and slightly upset when it was nowhere to be found, then you are my kinda people!

Next, droolin' and chewin'. Not sure I need (or want!) to say much here. Have you seen how much drool a teething baby can produce??? It's quite miraculous. My youngest grandkiddo seems to be the Drool Grand Champion of the family. I don't remember any of my kids, other grandkiddos, cousins, nieces, or nephews, drooling as much as she does. She'll chew my finger off if I let her! And while not all dogs drool like faucets, they have quite a bit to share when they chew on things. Remi is not a super huge drooler, but he sure likes to share the chew toys when they are at their drooliest! And don't get me started on his chewed-up, drool-covered blanket! If you've been around a droolin' and chewin' baby or dog, you understand what I'm trying to say here. YUCK

And of course, the ever-famous game of peekaboo. It completely fascinates a baby when you hide yourself, then suddenly reappear, making them squeal with delight. The youngest grandkiddo gets soooooooooo excited and belly laughs every time someone pops out from hiding. And they learn so much from this simple game: object permanence, trust, turn-taking, cause and effect, just to name a few (1).

Dogs learn these same lessons. Remi LOVES peekaboo. In our house though, it's called 'Where's Remi?' If he wants to play this game, he'll take his blanket and throw it over his head, covering his face. Then my partner or I will call out 'Where's Remi?' or 'Dad, have you seen Remi?' He then immediately flings the blanket off his face and has what can only be described as a ta-da moment. 'Ta-da! Here I am! I fooled you!' he says with his eyes, his ever wagging tail, and giddy jumping. If we need to distract him, a well-placed, 'Where's Remi?' does the trick every time. It's super cute.

Let's not forget the high-pitched, sing-songy, upper register almost everyone moves into when talking to young humans and dogs. 'Baby' talk and babble is common, and you can often tell how young a human is if you just hear how someone is talking to them. Given that people often treat their dogs, or any pet, like little humans, it follows that many people use 'baby talk' with them. It annoys me when I hear others do it, not sure why, but it's perfectly fine when I do it with both young humans and dogs. Can someone explain that to me, please?

(Side Bar: One 30-minute rabbit hole later, I found out some very interesting things about how different cultures talk to young humans. While most (especially Western) cultures do 'baby' talk, I found many do not. Check out my citation (2) below if you want to learn more about it. Interesting stuff!)

Bed hogs. Do I even need to elaborate here? How do such small humans take up so. much. room. Even the tiniest dogs do as well. There seem to be several laws of physics being broken when a young human or dog is in a bed with you. Mom and Dad just want some sleep, damn it!

If you're hungry enough, Grandkiddo #3, you will take a bottle. If you're hungry enough, Sir Remington of Barksville Manor, you will eat the dry dog food. When did babies and dogs become such food snobs?!

Energy. Can we please bottle some and share it around, please? Both young humans and dogs are Energizer Bunnies. They go, go, go, and then go some more! And then usually crash out as soon as their heads hit pillows. Ever had a baby fall asleep while eating? My son would do that! And poor Remi is kinda cooped up during the week because of where we live, so when he gets to run around on the weekends, he runs HARD, and then crashes harder, snoring louder than his dad sometimes!

Finally, both young humans and dogs are constantly underfoot. They are just ACTIVE. If you've lived with either, you know. Any day now, I fully anticipate tripping over my youngest grandkiddo now that she can roll all over a room. Poor thing bonked her head on the hardwood floor recently. Boy howdy, did that make her mad! Or I'll fly over Remi as he tries to tackle me when I've been gone, and do a swan-diving header down some stairs, breaking a hip. (I am not getting any younger, folx!) In Remi's mind, I've been gone for at least 2,356 days. It's hard not to feel appreciated when he tackles me, or when my grandkiddos literally jump up and down and cheer when I show up. Talk about an ego boost! But, man! Do I need a break once in a while!

All this is to say, young humans and dogs are a lot alike. And the best thing about them both is their simple, child-like, mentality. You could easily substitute dog for child in the quotes below. Both just enjoy life, take people right where they are, and just love, love, love their little hearts out. That's the big lesson here. Imagine a world where everyone did that. Oh, what a world that would be!

Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/boy-in-black-and-white-stripe-shirt-sitting-on-green-grass-field-beside-brown-pomeranian-puppy-eLIuI2Zuskc?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditShareLink

(1) "What do babies learn from peekaboo" prompt. Gemini, Feb 2025 version, Google, 18 Jan. 2026, https://gemini.google.com.

(2) "Do all cultures talk to babies in higher registers?" prompt. Gemini, Gemini 3 Flash version, Google, 18 Jan. 2026, https://gemini.google.com.