The Kid is Alright: It's OK to Just Be OK
- Willow Williams
- Jun 6, 2024
- 3 min read
Hey there, all you gorgeous BDL folk! I'm up from the abyss into the, well, I don't want to say light because it doesn't feel light yet. Would you accept not dark?
I am OK.
Just OK. I'm not flailing around in the dark, but I'm not flying high in the clouds either. OK is all I've got. Nothing wrong with just being OK.
I can't even think about what to write about, which is VERY unusual for me. If you know me at all, you know full well I always have something to say. I have a legit case of brain fog.
The technical term for brain fog is cognitive dysfunction (CD). CD can impair your ability to think clearly, your reaction time, your memory, and your executive functioning abilities. (1) Yup, that's me in a nutshell lately.
Now you can get brain fog for many reasons besides depression. The concern with brain fog in conjunction with depression is that it can often make the depression worse. And since most anti-depressants only treat mood issues, medications for depression with brain fog haven't been studied much.
How's that for encouraging?
There's mostly DIY treatment advice when you search it:
getting enough sleep
being realistic in planning your day
trying to focus on one task at a time
managing stress
avoiding caffeine and alcohol
trying relaxation techniques such as meditation
taking regular breaks (1)
Look familiar? It should. It sounds a lot like a previous article of mine "Go Little or Go Home: Bite-Sized Self Care". Here's a link if you'd like it check it out: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/go-little-or-go-home-bite-sized-self-care
So I think the universe is trying to tell me something, don't you? I feel like I should be further along in my recovery. I'm smart, I've been doing the things, so what's the hold up? Why am I not back to my old self yet? And why the repeated messages over and over and over and over, and then once more, just for funsies?
It's OK to just be ok. It's ok to just do the basics. You need the simplicity, the structure, the foundation, right now, Willow, because without it, you'll just end up right back where you were before, and that's not an option. Not in a million billion years is that an option. You have to do the little things, so that you're healthy for the big things, good and bad, when they come along.
Patience has never been my forte.
in the thick of it
Joshua's flower laughs frantically
sand drifts in the wry wind
a desert shrub pretends to shade sun-blasted bones
teasing cuddly coolness to a passing jackrabbit
but there will be no reprieve from the heat today
in the thick of it, no oasis in sight
bald heads thirst
flying, gliding, circling in the clear blue
waiting for the circus to open
I am a rotund, smelly coyote carcass
bloated in the sun
satisfying rotting cotton candy
for vulturous clowns to devour
the sun sets
a kangaroo rat sips sweet dew
gathered in the moonlight
the desert sleeps
but there will be no reprieve from the heat tonight
for the bones have started their dance
*The Joshua tree holds deep spiritual meaning, symbolizing resilience, adaptability, and personal growth. Its unique appearance and ability to thrive in harsh desert conditions inspire us to draw upon our inner strength and seek enlightenment. The tree’s interconnectedness with its environment highlights the importance of community and support, while its life cycle reminds us to embrace change and life’s impermanence. https://wisdomofthespirit.com/spiritual-meaning-of-joshua-tree/
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