Go Little or Go Home: Bite-Sized Self Care
- Willow Williams
- May 23, 2024
- 4 min read
I am plugging away at getting well. As almost everyone knows, though, it's a slog. Grieving is exhausting, and the work to get through it is exhausting, redefining my life and livelihood is exhausting, and plain old life is exhausting. Yup, you guessed it, I'm fucking exhausted.
Most basic things are hard for me right now; simple things like laundry and starting the dishwasher require all my concentration. So it's really hard to find the energy for the things that help me get better. But I have to find it somewhere. I have to get better. I can't live like this.
So I've taken to what I'm calling "bite-sized self care." I don't have the time, energy, or drive to go big right now.
And apparently, I'm not the first to think of self care like this, (damn it!). As I researched for this article, I stumbled on several articles on micro self care. I like the term "bite-sized self care" better though. Reminds me of teeny tiny candy bars, and who doesn't like the thought of teeny tiny candy bars?
"Micro self-care is appointing small amounts of time daily and/or weekly to care for oneself in an ongoing effort to maintain positive mental health. Micro self-care helps to prevent burnout, mental and emotional fatigue and other negative emotional states." (1)
Makes sense. I can't nip off the spa for a facial or go on a relaxing vacation any time I want, or buy a new wardrobe every week. So what can I do now, in this moment, today, this week, to keep getting well?
Moment to moment is the hardest for me. I can plan and schedule the snot out of my day, but when I'm in the thick of it or something has come up unexpectedly to cause me anxiety, I struggle to focus on something to help me get through it. So I've been working on my breath.
Now don't roll your eyes like that. I know the subject of breathing and breath technique has been talked to death. I am tired of it too, trust me. Problem is, it works. Specifically, I'm talking about 4-7-8 breathing. If you've done yoga, you know this technique as Pranayama. It improves your heart and lung functions, reduces your blood pressure, clears your head, calms you down, and helps you sleep. (2)
It takes practice, Spongebob, but it helps, I promise. Here's a quick how-to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8fjYPC-k2k
Also, movement moments. Getting up from your desk. Walking around for 5 minutes. Stretching. Going outside and just standing in the sun. Touching a tree. Smelling a flower. Taking your shoes off and walking on the grass (also known as grounding for you witchy types). Petting a critter, preferably one you know! You get the idea.
Here's some hacks to get more movement into your day: https://www.npr.org/2026/01/01/1217981506/tips-for-building-movement-into-your-life-and-how-to-stick-with-it
Daily, if I don't write and read, I spiral fast. Writing and reading are my daily anchors. First thing in the morning, with a cup of tea, I write out my affirmations, (see my take on affirmations here: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/because-ramping-up-your-affirmations-game), and write out how I'm feeling about yesterday, the day ahead, or something I'm struggling with. I also write my victories. Make sure to write out your victories, even if they seem little or insignificant. A victory is a victory is a victory, damn it!
And I read. I am a writer. Reading is like eating for me. If I don't eat words, my writing suffers.
What are your anchors? What one or two things can you do to secure yourself in the day? Here are some examples:
Drink a glass of water in the morning.
Meditate for five minutes.
Get outside, even for a few minutes.
Take a break from digital screens, particularly before bedtime.
Stretch for one minute.
Go on a walk.
Connect with a friend or family member.
Create a to-do list with two or three important tasks to accomplish. (3)
Weekly, I cannot emphasize enough how much a schedule helps me. Since I have little capacity to life, if I schedule things, even things like when I'm taking out the garbage, I am better able to get them done, AND!, feel accomplished.
Even more important than a to-do schedule is a sleep schedule. In the beginning of all this shit, I was barely sleeping, and Oh. My. God. It just made everything so much worse. Just in the last few days, I have gotten my sleep schedule going. Finally!!! It's been over a month getting there, but worth the aggravation of getting up sleepy and going to bed wide awake. You know what to do, I'm sure. Get up at the same time. Go to bed at the same. See your doc for meds. Set a routine. And follow it. (4)
replace sleep with exercise in the paragraph above ^ and repeat (4)
And for damn sure, put your own spin on it. Personally, I am motivated by a "if you eat your vegetables first, you can have your dessert" mentality. I set myself mini-goals to complete a task, say fill out yet another job application, and then I can read for 10 minutes, or something similar. Tweak bite-sized self care to you and your habits and tendencies.
Golly, this seems like a lot for one article. Not very bite-sized! Hahaha! I could keep going, but I'll save more for next time. Take what you need for now, and leave the rest. The good thing about bite-sized self care is that it'll fit easily in your pocket for later. Just make sure to use it before it melts! :D
Comments