The Friday (and one Monday) Chronicles Part Four: Dealing with Heavy Emotions

We made it! The last article in the series. Thanks for hanging in there with me while I processed through my junk. I hope you've gotten something helpful along the way. I know I did!

Here are links to the previous articles:

Part One: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/the-friday-and-one-monday-chronicles-part-one

Part Two: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/the-friday-and-one-monday-chronicles-part-two

Part Two Point Five: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/21st-century-romantic-relationships

Part Three: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/the-friday-and-one-monday-chronicles-part-three-caring-for-aging-parents

The last article had left off on the Monday my mom had health issues. That week also happened to be the week my daughter and her family were heading home after an extended visit. They live abroad, so when they visit, it's always for a few months at a time.

This is always a difficult time for yours truly, Gramma Manda. I've gotten used to them living so far away over the years, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect me emotionally, especially around the time they are getting ready to head back. I put up a brave face, but inside I'm a fucking disaster around this time.

This week, just for fun, also included other issues. My niece had major issues with her partner and had to get the police involved, so I was worried about her. A neighborhood dog, with known issues of wandering around, chased my granddaughter on her bike and I had to make a report to animal control. My daughter and son-in-law were dealing with a LOT of their belongings still in my mom's garage, and we weren't sure if they'd be able to take care of it all before they left. Remember also we were dealing with my mom's health issues, I was newly unemployed, and recently friend-zoned. Good times!

Then on Friday, March 15th, 2024, there was an issue with the vehicle my daughter rented to get their stuff to the airport that I had to pay for initially. (They did pay me back.) Dropping off four people, eight suitcases, a stroller, two car seats, and various carry-ons at SeaTac is ALWAYS an adventure, and not the good kind. The grandkiddos were asleep when we were saying our goodbyes so I didn't even get to give them a hug before they left.

So by 11:00 p.m. that Friday, I was a complete mess. Who wouldn't be? I drove to my sister's in Lynnwood and collapsed.

Luckily, I had planned a weekend in the Seattle area with my sister, cousin, son, and his fiancée to see Dune 2 in IMAX. That was a nice distraction. (If anyone wants to nerd out with me about the movie, send me a DM. It was AWESOME.) Home again, home again Sun night.

When I woke up on Monday, I had a lot to sort out. Logistically, like what I was going to do for work and what did my mom still need help with, but mostly emotionally. Those 15 days were legit straight up 24/7 stress. What do I do with all the anger, guilt, grief, and sadness built up inside of me?

So I got busy. I distracted myself. Doctor's appointments before my insurance termed, projects around my apartment, things for my mom, and hanging out with friends. My brave face sure was shiny!

Then in the beginning of April, I ran out of things to do. And I hadn't dealt with all the emotions. So I spiraled down into some bad coping behaviors and lot of lying around moping in bed.

I'm writing this on April 14th. I would like to say I've come full circle and am fine now, but I'm not. If you don't deal with your stressors, they won't go away. I KNOW this. It's completely logical. So why don't I do what I need to do to recover properly?

First, it hurts like hell.

Second, it's a lot of work.

Third, it hurts like hell.

But it's so necessary. I have to sit with the entire month of March 2024 and let it overwhelm me so I can get it out of my system. I can't distract, drink, smoke, or fuck it away. I have to face it head on, and grieve until I can function like an adult again.

How this is done is different for everyone. Things that help process heavy emotions are things we've all heard before, talking it out with a good friend or counselor, writing in a journal, exercise, etc. For me, I write poems and in a journal. I have a couple of good friends that will just let me vomit it all out, without judgement. I also nap a lot. Heavy emotions take a toll on your body, so listen to it when it's talking to you.

I think a key thing here is also that doing the things that help you process heavy emotions even when you are not in crisis. Build good habits of emotional wellbeing before you need them. That way, when you have a March 2024 of your own, you'll have a foundation to draw from. You won't run dry as quickly. We've all heard the phrase, "you can't pour from an empty cup," but it is so true.

It is not selfish either, as some might lead you to believe. Create your wellbeing plan and stick to it as much as you can. Your life, and the lives of those you care about, depends on it.

Here are a couple of articles I found helpful:

How to Identify and Process Your Emotions https://psychcentral.com/health/inventive-ways-to-identify-and-process-your-emotions#therapy

Self Care Isn't Selfish: https://modern-minds.com/you-cant-pour-from-an-empty-cup-why-self-care-isnt-selfish/

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