Don't Give Me Your Heart, I'm Not Good With Those: Spotting Relationship Red Flags (Revisited)

Flavor of the Day: Oregon Diesel by Phat Panda

If you do something for someone and throw it in their face later, you're not a nice person; you're a fucking dick. Get over yourself. This isn't a score sheet type of thing. Either you do something nice because you care about the person & want to make them happy, or just fuck off. We've got to where we were without you in the first place, don't fucking "help" & then constantly throw it in someone's face.

Three strikes, and you're out. No more on the fence, either. You're in, or you're out. I'm done settling for someone who isn't ready. I'm done waiting on someone who doesn't know what the hell they want. I'm done getting shit thrown in my face because you want to feel superior. In all reality, you're just an insecure pussy. Wanna start taking score? I'll make it easy on you and forfeit. Meaning... #byefelicia. More women should stand up for themselves & their kids. There were things I saw while working at hospitals that broke my heart.

If you cannot have your own time in a relationship, or if someone is isolating you from friends & family, if they don't allow you to even go to the bathroom without bugging you, or if someone doesn't allow you to look at your phone without freaking the fuck out, they are a walking red flag. STOP IGNORING RED FLAGS. Red flags can sometimes turn into a restraining order or, worse, murder.

The more shit you do for me that gets thrown in my face, the less shit I will do for you. The more you throw in, "I can get anyone. If you left me, I can have someone in a minute." Well fuck you, so can I. That's all dating apps are about, anyway. Its a rarity to see someone be genuine on those things. Even myself, 90% of the time I was on those things, it was only because I was bored & wanted attention for a week. I'd go back and forth between deleting the apps to hiding my profiles & then messing on them again. Everything I told each guy was true, but I wasn't genuinely thinking much would come out of any of those interactions because guys seem to be on there for one thing, even if they say they're not.

I'm over it. I'm ready for easy, and if you can't be my peace, then I can be my own. I do know that everything is not always easy, and no relationship is ever 100% easy. There's a time when you have to check yourself & see if the good outweighs the bad. If bad is consistently overpowering any happiness or good you may have in any relationship, or friendship, then why stay? Why stick around? If they were that important to you, you guys would be able to work together to make sure the good supersedes the negative.

Life is just too short. I mentally give people a time frame to get their shit together & yes, I have been known to cut someone off & never look back because the pattern was the same. The lies & the sneakiness continued, there was no making it better. They were only better until they thought they had me. Case in point SD.

The only reason he lasted 3 1/2 years was because of Daughter. I one day woke up and said I don't need him, or his mother fucking lies. He had 3 weeks to show me he had changed. Then, I ended things with him for good, and I've never looked back. Years later, I still hear of lies he's told, times video games were more important than his daughter, even though he only saw her once a week, & I am so glad that I didn't stay just to be a family. That's fucking bullshit, if you're unhappy, your kids will see it and feel it. Your misery seeps and oozes down to the kids. They don't want to fucking see that, they want happy parents. They don't want to be hiding behind a chair crying because their parents are fighting. They don't want to have to comfort their younger siblings because you can't get your shit together enough to walk away from the situation, calm the fuck down & stop yelling in front of your kids, or move your very adult, probably very idiotic argument to another room.

So, I sit here wondering how much unhappy is healthy & how much am I in self-destruction mode because of past trauma? How much is normal to allow & let slide? How do I even act? Bro, idfk. I've been out of the actual dating game for so long I don't even know what the fuck to do. It's exhausting to have to focus on another person constantly. Sometimes, I just want to be on my phone without questions. Sometimes, I want to do my own thing in the morning, with nobody around for a couple of hours. Sometimes, I wana binge binge-watch my shows without worrying about anyone. Just go sit in a corner & be quiet, please. Haha Kidding!

My BDL time is important to me; I need it to be calm. Some days, I just think I'm destined to grow old alone. Well, besides DC (Demon Cat), he will stay with me. He acts like an asshole, but in reality, when I come out to the living room, he eventually follows me. No DC cuddles, though. He has his own perch that he sits majestically upon. He knows he's my prince. Fuckface. DC did go up on the shed, and it surprised me because I didn't know that he was wild like that. The next day he climbed a tree but almost fell coming back down. He's not as wild as he thinks yet. (Unfortunately, my main man DC has been lost after this most recent move in 2024 & I'm quite literally heartbroken. He was there for me through deaths, depression, psycho ex, & knew when my anxiety was high, I would get a little headbutt to let me know he was there.)

OM, (old man) is just OM. Loyal & nerdy, as ever. He's been liking me sitting outside & smoking. He brings his Kong, the only toy he doesn't shred in seconds, & lays with it nearby. He can be an asshole, too, because it seems he barks when he knows a migraine is coming on. (Sadly, OM passed away in 2021. Losing animals is like losing a part of the family.)

I don't think its a coincidence that all of my animals are males, and they're all assholes. Honestly though, I'd rather deal with a male asshole than a female asshole any day. Us bitches be vicious! Like if you piss us off, we can belittle you & make you feel small like no other. You're going to be thinking about something said in a moment of anger for years afterward. Guarantee, we've most likely forgotten about it within a week. Like in the movie The Notebook, we have an attention span of five minutes before we are off doing the next pain in the ass thing... Our bitchiness is way more frequent than some males. Some guys are just plain pansies & need a tampon thrown at them.

I talk a lot of shit, but man, there's a reason I am not gay. No offense to those who are, but I cannot stand women for long periods of time! I can stand them less than I can men. I try to have empathy for what men go through, just by being men & dealing with women. Granted, they put us through a lot, as well.

BDL professional started today. Work was insane, but I love being back. I mentally hugged my desk six times. It was nice to come home to some kisses and smoke, though. Nothing worth having is ever easy, but I wonder, what hard shit isn't worth having? Relationships that really had no point, not all are lessons. I mean if only there were a sign, like literal red flags attached to each person. You then get to decide which ones are bearable for you.

What would your red flags say? My list is unending, but here are a few.

Thinks she's hilarious, so laugh at her jokes. Gemini temper, but also Gemini love. Loyal to a fault, but doesn't take shit for long. Hates when you make weird noises constantly with your mouth, those who do are subject to throat punches. Clears a room when she farts. Do not approach in the mornings, unless caffeinated. If caffeinated and its still morning, proceed with caution. If asking to remember or do something, one thing at a time and make sure I'm not lit AF. Better to write it down too. Even better, if you put it in my phone for me. If I don't respond, no need to send 500 texts and calls.

Lastly, I want you to empower yourself to start spotting the relationship red flags & leaving as soon as possible. Don't make excuses if there are too many warning signs, & don't overlook those signs because you have a set of pretty blue eyes looking at you or whatever your weakness is.

So let me know! Like, share, comment, subscribe to my shit! Thank you to those who already do!

🖤💋💨