Trigger Warning: Perspective and Meditation to the Rescue!
- Willow Williams
- Aug 15, 2024
- 4 min read
A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting with my regular crew of Saturday coffee compatriots, enjoying friendly chitchat and silly banter like most Saturday mornings, when a friend noticed that someone that entered the cafe we were in was open carrying, meaning he had a gun on his hip, in a holster, in plain sight for everyone to see.
(Don't worry. This post isn't going to be about the moral or legal validity of guns and gun ownership. Personally, I am very anti-gun, but it's a free country where everyone has a right to make their own decisions about this issue, so I'm not going to tell anyone what they can, can't, or shouldn't do. That's their choice, not mine.)
What I do want to talk about is how I was triggered, no pun intended, by seeing that person open carrying.
You've probably heard buzz around the word "trigger" in recent years. According to the good folks at PsychCentral, a trigger "… is a stimulus that causes a painful memory to resurface. A trigger can be any sensory reminder of the traumatic event: a sound, sight, smell, physical sensation, or even a time of day or season." (1)
What's that phrase? Know your enemy so you can know yourself? Why was this a trigger warning for me? What made me go into instant panic mode? Why did I react the way I did when I saw that person open carrying?
This trigger source is easy for me to identify. I lived for many years with a person who had a lot of guns that he, in my opinion, didn't secure properly. One weapon was locked up, but he didn't secure the rest. I asked him regularly to get a gun safe or move them, and he wouldn't. He told me I was unreasonable and to get over it. To show me how ridiculous I was, he insisted I go shooting with him once. That freaked me the FUCK OUT. It was loud and scary, and he just laughed at me when I abruptly left the range. I had to sleep in the same room with this man, with his unsecure weapons, for years. So yeah, guns are a bit of an issue for me.
So understandably, I went into full panic mode when I saw that person in the cafe open carrying. My heart rate shot up, my legs started shaking, and the fidget device I was idly using before I saw that person almost got ripped apart. I could barely talk. A friend noticed and asked if I was OK. I tried to explain it to her, but I don't feel like I could even describe it myself in that moment. I just wanted to run.
Luckily, this person didn't stay in the cafe long. I quickly calmed down enough to appear alright, but I was a mess for the rest of the day. I had a ton of stuff to do, but I just went home after coffee and crashed, I was so mentally exhausted. Five minutes of trigger, and my day was shot. I was so mad, but I couldn't do anything but lie in bed and watch reruns of Night Court.
So would could I have done to mitigate my reaction to my trigger? Perspective and meditation to the rescue!
Again, the good folks at PyschCentral sum it all up so nicely:
Try to have perspective. As soon as you feel triggered, try to take a birds-eye view of the situation. Recognize where these intense feelings are coming from — likely not from the trigger itself, but from a previous traumatic experience.
I cannot emphasis this one enough! I even wrote about this very topic recently. Take yourself out of the situation and look at it from above. The change of perspective is eye-opening. Absolutely no joke.
Link to my article about perspective here —→ https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/evolution-pro-activating-your-life
Edit Link
Remind yourself that you are safe. Next, try taking slow deep breaths and remind yourself that you’re safe now. You can repeat a mantra in your head, if that’s helpful for you. You might remind yourself, “I am safe. This is not then.”
This I did not do. I think if I had, it would've helped. Filing it away for later use.
Practice self-compassion and acceptance. As much as you can, try not to get irritated with yourself for having these feelings. Direct compassion toward yourself as you would a close loved one.
YES. Even if I had done everything right when I was triggered, I am still human and things don't always work. Be gentle with yourself.
Try meditating. Practicing meditation may also be a helpful tool to help reduce your anxiety. A 2013 research review involving 207 studies found that mindfulness meditation is an effective way to lower anxiety, depression, and stress. There are even trauma-informed mindfulness practices you can try.
There's tons of info about trauma-informed mindfulness practices on the interwebs. If you are interested in this, look up DBT, or dialectical behavioral therapy. It's FANTASTIC.
Cool link to a meditation video my sister, a DBT therapist, made. ——> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwbAjXiXCsI
Alrighty, my lovelies, I hope you have a little bit more in your arsenal, snicker, for the next time you are triggered. I know I do. Take care of yourself. Take your meds. Take yourself out on a date. And most importantly, don't take one single day for granted. You are precious, and you matter.
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