Time to Tame the Raptor Claws, Finding My Confidence (Revisited)

Flavor of the Day: Starburst Lemonade Flamingo Gummy

Time to fucking focus. No more letting anything get in my way. No fucking getting attached to any temporary guy that will keep me from my ultimate dream. I must find my confidence so that I don't allow someone with a dick to hold me back. It won't last & they're usually not worth it. I just want to be happy and not concentrate on being lonely, like I've wasted my life on. No fucking more. No more wondering why the hell I'm not good enough, or why I am cool enough to do anything with, the sex, BJs, and dick picks, but not fucking to commit to. No more.

We don't have to be lonely, just because the person we want isn't available in the form we need, or nobody will commit. We just need to enjoy the people in our lives, however long their stay in your life is. Not long ago, I was in a dark place that I hadn't been in a while. I started a new job, and everyone was nice and happy, full of faith. I forced the happiness, and slowly, it became a reality. I heard their views on faith, and although mine never went anywhere, it became more prominent. I worked my ass off to make a difference, and they saw it; I was shown appreciation and patience regularly. I went into that job thinking I was a misfit. I got in my own damn way. I said I wanted that to be my last job, and I did until I could live my dream. Just like my tattoo says, "Live your dream." That, right there, is proof that love, actually loving someone, not knowing their story, can make a difference. It is not entirely romantic love, but just showing kindness to someone, even a stranger, can be the space between the blade and the skin. It can keep someone from the toxicity of their mind. How should we help? How can each one of us leave this life with meaning?

Also, fuck this negative talk bullshit. The same goes for negative self-talk.

I'll abide my time with those temporarys but continue to focus on my gypsy goal. I held back from moving around to give Daughter the life that I think she deserves, but she's happy, healthy, and going to be leaving soon. No more being frightened of being alone forever. Yes, having a partner that empowers you, takes care of you, you can take care of & laugh with is wonderful. Allow them to peel off the black layers of your soul. No more yearning for what I don't have and being content with what I do have.

I need to find a way to make this happen; I need to do my research because nobody is going to do this shit for me. (I am still saying and learning this in 2024, 4 years later.) It's time for some Spring cleaning of the home, the soul, and even some of my black heart. How do I leave a lasting, positive, POWERFUL impression while ultimately leaving this earth in the end? Maybe one day I'll get my fairytale, but if not, why live the remainder of my life sad, angry, or bitter? What fucking good does that do to anyone?

I have a plan, and it's time to focus. Not let anyone get in my way. Spread the love that I have, whether it's in a fleeting moment or lasts someone a lifetime. So give me examples of someone who left a lasting impression on you, both big and small; I want to hear it, and why does it still stick with you?

I have been told I ask too many questions in my writing. Well, fool, that's because I'm having writer's block and need some length. Get your mind out of the gutter!

My question for my crazies, you readers are, how are you going to leave the world What/who/when is your end game? Come on, bro. We are in isolation, so I know you have time to answer. Yeah, you. Well aside from those essential workers. You guys rock and I appreciate you fools.

Thank you for reading. Remember, don't let anyone hold you back from your destiny.

🖤💋💨