There's Nothing I Can Do, If You Refuse To Hear Me: The Practice of Being Present In Conversations (Revisited)

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Recently, I have had people listen to me talk but not hear me, or they look at me and not listen. I feel like I know what they're thinking, and I know that whatever story they have in their head is probably wrong. Although, I'm working on my communication skills (which are still very much lacking) and confidence in telling my truth, it seems some people just want to stick with the made-up version of me they have in their heads, no matter how many times I try to show them who I am.

I want people in my life that see me and hear me, not just sit there in my presence refusing to get to know the real me. I'm very guarded, maybe too much so, but it's not a bad thing to be a little cautious when it comes to getting to know someone. (We all remember my psycho ex, right? NEVER again!) I didn't know this for many years, but it's not a bad thing to go slow or reveal yourself at your own pace. Just remember to not be COMPLETELY guarded and keep yourself open to the fruitful relationships that come your way.

I don't have the energy or the will to continually explain myself to those who don't listen, or try to get to know the real me that's deep down underneath the unwavering smile and the myriad of scars. I am too busy trying to improve my life daily to make sure everyone is getting their story about me right. I can't uncloud someone's closed mind if they're unwilling to hear.

Sometimes, I am the one making assumptions and meeting a situation with judgment instead of compassion and understanding. Once I realize I'm being that way, I try to derail those thoughts and listen with open ears, see with open eyes. Idk where my brain changed to me having to flip a switch in myself to be a more kind person; and I don't know when I stopped always being happy and carefree & I turned into a depressed, anxious person, but I'm changing my narrative!!

Was I ever fully happy & carefree? I don't know. I feel like I may have always had depression, but the judgment, I feel I've learned, somehow. Just like you have.

The less people HEAR me and the less they SEE me, the less I want to be around them and the less I want to open up to them. What's the point if they won't listen? Why talk when they won't hear anyway? Each relationship is a two-way street, and everyone is different. You have to listen and observe in order to truly get to know someone. Stop making up your own scenarios of who they are, and if you haven't listened carefully, you probably have no clue. It's just as important to listen to yourself as much as you listen to others. Be mindful of the words you think just as much as the words you speak.

Everyone has their own story, and if you're lucky, people will tell you theirs. If they're lucky, they'll earn knowing yours, but you have to put in the work and you have to actually open your ears and your mind to the individual in front of you. Focus on being present and getting to know the person in front of you to their core instead of making an inaccurate assumption about who they are.

Thank you for taking the time to read and HEAR who I am through my blog. I appreciate every one of you, whether you're new or you've been here for a while, thank you.

🖤💋💨