Nostalgia 3: Emotional Resilience & Coping Mechanisms
- Willow Williams
- Oct 10, 2024
- 4 min read
Here's the last installment of our jaunt through the positive power of nostalgia. Woo hoo!
Here are my first two articles for your reference:
And the full article I'm referencing in part here is linked at the end of this article for your reference.
OK, enough referencing!
The third benefit of nostalgia is as a mood enhancer and a source of emotional resilience. Specifically, "By reminding us of positive past experiences, it can boost our mood and increase our optimism about the future." (1) Nostalgia gives you the warm fuzzies. And lord fucking KNOWS, I need to be drowned in warm fuzzies lately.
I have struggled with depression. Chances are a lot of you have as well. It's a beast of an issue. It makes me feel so damn stupid! Logically, I know I'm a kick-ass bad ass! But when my depression kicks in, I am jellified in worthlessness.
You know those jello molds desserts every grandmother made in the 70s? The kind with canned fruit turned out (miraculously, I must say) from a form pan onto a plate at Thanksgiving? I might be dating myself here. High five, my fellow Gen Xers!
Anyhoo, when you poked the jello mold concoction gently, all it did was wiggle. It wouldn't lose shape. I am that jello mold dessert when I'm depressed, folx, encased in something that looks rather disturbing and oddly giggly. And you're not quite sure what to do with me, or what I will taste like. I am unappetizing, the dish that everyone at Christmas dinner avoids because they don't recognize the fruit in it. I'm leftover in the fridge for a week before someone gets ambitious, cleans out the fridge, and throws me out.
And did you know they made them from meat!? I am ground up beef or turkey in a giggly jello mold. Blech!
Weird analogy, I know. Humor me.
The reason I am using jello molds here as an analogy is because 1. It's fucking ridiculous, and that makes me insanely happy. And 2. My gramma used to make jello for us all the time and when I think about jello and jello molds, it gives me the warm fuzzies.
My Gramma Greet was not the type of gramma that baked, crafted, or sewed. About the most gramma-y thing she did was garden. So when my sister and I went to see her, we'd knew we'd be getting jello. It was a sweet treat she could for sure make to keep us happy. Always, always jello.
So instead of letting myself feel like an unwanted jello mold when I feel down, I'm going to think not about how giggly and out of control I feel, but about my Gramma Greet and how she would always make us jello, and how happy that made me as a kid. I am using this memory to bring up my mood and give me emotional cajones.
If you have a memory like this, USE IT to get out of your funk. Use it physically even. I am going to Natural Grocers for some vegan jello this weekend!
And if you don't have one, make a new one! May I recommend an in-depth study of jello molds of the 1970s?
OK, the last gift of nostalgia is it "…serves as a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety. When faced with uncertainty or challenging situations, nostalgic thoughts can provide comfort and a sense of stability. It’s like having a psychological safety net, reminding us that we’ve overcome difficulties in the past and can do so again." (1)
It was stressful introducing the person I'm dating to my dad, son, and future daughter-in-law!!! I haven't "brought a date home" in literally decades. My dad's pretty chill overall and just chatted with them about their job, where they were from. Ya know, typical dad topics.
BUT I sure as FUCK haven't introduced someone I'm dating to my son, and it freaked me out a little. His entire life, I was with his dad, so I wasn't sure how he would react. I even went so far as to consult my future daughter-in-law about it first, to gauge how he's been feeling about the breakup of his dad and I. I had so much anxiety over it, my stomach was doing flip-flops for hours before we got there.
My son is AWESOME though, and I had nothing to worry about. And the person I'm seeing just slide right in like they belonged with us, at the event, and like they'd been doing it for years. And my son and his fiancé followed suit. It was a tremendous relief to say the least!
This is exactly why I took the person I'm seeing to the Sausage Fest. That event is a safety net for me. I know when I go to it, I'll be ok. Everything will be ok. That I AM OK. It is a stable part of my life that I can rely to bring my anxiety down. Not just around introducing the person I'm dating to my family, but overall. My anxiety for the next couple of week's was completely nonexistence, and I am fully convinced it's because of the magic of Sausage Fest, the magic of nostalgia.
It's weird how just one event has gotten me thinking about so many things, identity, bonding, emotional support, and coping all rolled up into one neat little psychological package. How can we use nostalgia to our advantage in every day though? All this theory and exampling is great, Willow, but how the hell do I use it?
I've been thinking about this, and I don't have a great answer. Everyone has different things, events, people, and such they are nostalgic about, so it's hard to be specific. In general though, embrace anything that gives you the warm fuzzies of nostalgia and cling to them like the world depends on it, because you, my lovelies, are the worlds of the universe!
Use nostalgia, and all the mental health nuggets of goodness you've heard over the years, to keep your mental health healthy. Especially as we go into the "most wonderful time of the year". The holidays can be HARD. Cling to the good memories. Forget the bad. And you if don't have any good memories, make some! If you need help, I'll send you some jello recipes that'll knock your socks off!
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