Nostalgia 2: Identity Formation & Social Connectedness

Last week, we started a little study of nostalgia. You can read my intro article here. https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/nostalgia-a-psychological-phenom-of-epic-proportions

This week, we're going to look at the first two benefits of nostalgia from the Psychology Today article I referenced last week. You can read the entire article here: https://neurolaunch.com/psychology-of-nostalgia/ .

First up, nostalgia encourages self-continuity and identity formation.

What the hell does that mean?

It means "by revisiting our past experiences and connecting them to our present selves, we create a coherent narrative of our lives." (1)

Ohhhhhhhhhh, gotcha.

So I don't know about you, but my life doesn't seem very cohesive lately. The shit I've been through the last year and a half has been devastating for my mental and physical health, my overall attitude towards life, and my livelihood. I've become jaded, to say the least. I don't trust anyone, I assume everyone wants something nefarious from me, and I for damn sure am not letting into my life emotionally intimately. Fuck THAT.

My other shoe is probably a pair of Vans

But that's no way for me to live. I can't go around constantly expecting the other shoe to drop on my head. Need my shoes on my feet to move forward, damn it! I don't want to live like this forever. Sure, this attitude has kept me safe, but it has also kept me lonely and depressed.

Cue nostalgia.

When I went to the Sausage Fest last week, I transported back to points of time in my life that were memorable and meaningful. I can't tell you how much my heart was full the entire two days of the event. It's so hard to describe. I was there, with my family and friends, doing something I've done for my entire life. I was giddy and excited, two things I haven't been for a long, long time.

The Sausage Fest is part of who I am. I am a silly person excited about things like Bingo, Pop Toss, and Lollipop Trees. Someone who loves to spend time with my family and friends doing fun things. I love to support local.

And by gum, I love me some waffles fries!

By connecting to my past self in a meaningful way, I helped stabilize my present identity. Since the event, I've been in a super good mood, which takes some getting used to if you've not been happy for a while. Hahaha! I remembered who I am. Thank you, nostalgia!

Next up, nostalgia encourages social connectedness and bonding.

"Nostalgia often involves memories of shared experiences with others, strengthening our sense of belonging and social ties … we’re reinforcing our relationships. It’s a powerful tool for combating loneliness and fostering a sense of community." (1)

Well, yeah! I wanted to go with both my parents. (They are divorced, so I had to go both Friday and Saturday. What a bummer!) My first memories of Sausage Fest are with them. My mom very graciously walked around on Friday night with Friends D and S and myself, putting up with our silly banter, the cutthroat Bingo playing of Friend D, and getting to know Friend S as they had just met. My dad's version of Sausage Fest is sitting together while he eats a sausage and some corn on the cob, then sitting in the beer garden and chatting. Not much wandering around, but it's the way he likes it. It's fun to visit with him.

But oh going with my kiddos is the best!

My son is not much for crowds, like AT ALL, but I've trained him from a young age that Sausage Fest is a magical and wonderful time of year that must be enjoyed at all costs, so he soldiers on. And I love the added presence of his partner. This was my first Sausage Fest with her!!! It was wonderful to share this with her. She brings a different level of fun that just makes the event pop! We love to do the whole gamut together, especially the Pop Toss. I LOVE beating my son at Pop Toss. It's literally the highlight of my year!

Yeah, I still need to write that article about my over-the-top competitiveness…

And it was Friend D and Friend S's first Sausage Fest! Newbies for indoctrination into the Sausage Fest community!!! I'm pretty sure if they didn't think I was crazy before, they sure as fuck do now. What 49-year-old woman gets excited about a Duck Pond carnival game?

And I brought the person I've been 'seeing'. That was interesting on all kinds of levels. It's such an important event to me that I don't share it with just anyone. So does that mean this relationship is getting serious? And now they've met my dad, son, and future kiddo-in-law. So that makes it feel even more serious! AHHHHH!!! And it was weird to go with someone that actually wanted to be there. My ex was not a fan and would complain the whole time. He made me feel dumb for enjoying the event because he didn't like it. And to go with someone who wanted to be with me was kinda weird too. Still getting used to the idea that I'm worth someone's time and energy, because I didn't feel like I was for a long, long time.

This year's Sausage Fest was filled with so many levels of bonding. I needed that soooooooooooo much. It gets lonely in my apartment all by myself. My mind spins and spins and spins and I rush back into bad habits REAL quick. But by spending time with my people at an event that's important to me, I not only reinforced my relationships with the people I love, I reinforced my relationship with myself. My people were there because 1. they wanted to enjoy the magic of Sausage Fest, and 2. they wanted to share it with ME. Talk about a self worth meter fill-me-up of epic proportions! I AM worthy, important, and loveable, three things that's taken me years to realize and accept as fact. And so are you, my lovelies! Each and every one of you is WORTHY, IMPORTANT, and LOVEABLE!

Bingo!

Next year, let's all go to the Sausage Fest together and take over the Bingo room! Identity Formation & Social Connectedness FTW!