New New Years: Part 2
- Willow Williams
- Feb 10, 2024
- 4 min read
So if you read part one, no, of course not. I haven't been creative every day in 2024. It's 1.10.24, and I'm 4/10. That's a 60% failure rate! YES! I could blame lots of things, I got sick, work has been busy, my grandkiddos are too stupid adorable for words, but it doesn't matter! I have 4 new pieces of creativity, and that's a WIN.
In case you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, you can read New New Years post here: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/post/new-new-years
I thought I had gotten out all my New New Years angst, but as I kept thinking about it, no such luck, so here we are. Part 2.
I got to thinking about how a lot of what we do to celebrate milestones, anniversaries, and the like is based on tradition. Good or bad, we cling to these traditions like our lives depended on them, the known universe would implode without proper observation of them, and heaven forbid the neighbors would talk!
For example, one of my all-time favorite Christmas traditions in my family is the annual argument about whether nuts belong in Chex Mix. Now I don't know how you feel about this subject, but the correct answer is nuts do NOT belong in Chex Mix. My mom and sister are firmly in the with nuts camp though, and we argue about it every year like we're arguing over how to accomplish world peace. We post pics of our mix stating how superior it is to another's, guffaw and scoff at gatherings, I pick nuts out and leave them in the bowl for my mom to find, and I tell my coworkers and poor unsuspecting grocery store checkers of the correct state of the Chex Mix Affair, as I like to call it.
My biggest triumph in this ongoing "discussion" was this past Christmas with my son's girlfriend, Chey. She's been hanging out for a couple Christmases now, watching this annual debacle, I mean DEBATE. She didn't really say much, smart girl. But out of the blue one cloudy day in mid-December, she messages me and says, "Ya know, I don't think nuts belong in Chex Mix." I had a convert! I immediately freaked out and made sure she posted her opinion in our group chat, much to the chagrin of my mom and sister. Victory!
OK, there might be a post about my extreme competitiveness in the future.
What about bad traditions though? I would call my overwhelming desire to drink myself stupid on New Year's Eve a bad tradition. It's just what I did, every year, without fail, because that's what I always did. And it was so hard to shake the desire to drink on NYE. It was a compulsion of sorts, an obsession, that damn monkey on my back that wouldn't shut up. I went to the liquor aisle at the grocery store almost automatically, without thinking. I had to say out loud to myself, in the store, surrounded by strangers, "No. This year is going to be different. You're different. Time to start a new tradition."
Going to get super deep here for just a moment and talk about bad traditions on a more global scale. Think about all the traditions around the world that repress certain groups of people, women and the LGBTQIA+ community, for example. Women can't own property in some nations. They also "traditionally" get a lesser inheritance in many African nations. The LGBTQIA+ community is denied basic rights all over the world because they buck tradition. In an article written for hrw.org, Graeme Reid states, "But unfortunately, “tradition” is indeed often used to justify discrimination and crackdowns on rights and is easily hijacked by nations determined to flout the rights of particular groups and to quash broader social, political, and legal freedoms. In such environments, “tradition” subordinates human rights. It should be the other way around." (1.)
OK, that's enough of that. deep breath break
So traditions are very loaded things to say the least. I would encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
What traditions are special and important to me? How can I keep them going and pass them on to the important people in my life?
What silly little traditions just make me soooooooo happy, but make no sense to anyone else? I would love to hear about them! Drop me a message here: https://www.beautifuldisasterlit.com/contact-us. It would be fun to compile a few of them for a future post.
What traditions no longer serve me or are harmful to me? What can I replace them with?
What new, healthier traditions do I want to start?
Changing traditions is HARD. I almost said fuck it on NYE and bought a bottle of whiskey. You're rewriting your neural pathways, going against decades and maybe even centuries of social norms, and you will probably look defiant and ridiculous to those around you. Do it anyway. You are more important and valuable than "that's just what we've always done."
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