Look Back, Learn, and Move the Hell On—Your Power Is in What Comes Next

Canna Flavor of the Day: Tricome Ice Cream Cookies disposable

I have a bad habit of time-traveling—but only to the past, and only to beat myself up over sh*t I can’t change. Today was no different. I was soaking in a perfect fall day—fresh haircut, DIY highlights setting, Noah Cyrus radio on, cinnamon candle burning. And yet, in the middle of all this self-love, I started doing what I always do… I started thinking about things that happened years ago, I started replaying a long-ago conversation, agonizing at how I fucked it up. I started thinking of all of the ways I could be better.

Then, something hit me like a brick to the face: I was ruining a perfectly good day by obsessing over things that don’t even exist anymore. I told myself, "WTF Ash?! It's beautiful outside, you're having a great day, filled with self-care. Why the fuck are you dwelling on the past, when you have a whole future you're trying to create." (Yes, I need to speak kinder to myself. I'm working on it, but sometimes I need to give myself tough love.) How many times do you find yourself nit-picking every stupid thing you do? I can almost guarantee that the recipient on the other end of the conversation is not thinking about that thing you said YEARS AGO! There have been a few times where I've stressed over an interaction and the other person was over it the minute it was done.

It's like a tidal wave of realization knowing that I've stressed more over things in the past than I have in hustling & building my future. Maybe I'd have more of the life I want if I focused more on the good and continuing to create it than I do criticizing myself for being human in a moment and saying or doing something wrong. We're all flawed, that's just the way it is. The best any of us can do is try to learn from our mistakes and be the best version of ourselves every day. Yes, we may have a bad day or a stupid moment, but that doesn't define us. What we do from this moment forward does. Stop stressing and obsessing over the past and start living and loving the life you have and the life you're creating for yourself.

I've also realized that many of my dreams or manifestations have come to life in some way or another. A lot of that is my hard work that I don't give myself credit for. I just didn't really pay attention because it wasn't what I pictured in my mind. I'm paying attention now and I am so grateful for what has become my reality. Turns out, my dreams have been coming true—just not in the exact way I imagined. The universe isn’t following my script, but it’s still delivering the damn movie. I remind myself regularly to be grateful for the blessings that have come to me, no matter what form they manifest in.

Yes, it's not in the time or form that I imagined, but nevertheless, it is manifesting, just like what I wrote in my very first blog back in February 2020. Now I'm writing blog #233. Funny enough, revisiting this article years later, I’ve lost count—I don’t focus on the numbers as much anymore. Although I'm not monetizing my blog the way I'd like, people keep reading. Somehow, my words keep finding their way to the right people. Someday, I'll make money doing what I love, (for some reason you crazies like what I write) but for now, all I hope is for my writing to help or inspire the people who need it. I pray that those who need my words can find them.

So here’s your challenge: Instead of rewatching the highlight reel of your worst moments, script the next scene of your future. Write it down. Look back in a few months or even a year and see how much of it has already started happening. Feel free to share! Your power is in what comes next.

Thank you for reading my musings, whoever you are. I see you. I appreciate you. And I hope you build a life so good, that you stop looking back.

🖤💋💨