Can Somebody Deliver Me Hot Cheetos? Life With Animals (Revisited)

Flavor of the Day: Grand Daddy Purp(le) (GDP!)

My Cat Is An Asshole. I swear he likes to fuck with me when I'm stoned & is extra needy when I'm busy. My stoned ass got up, for a reason I forgot quickly & let my dog & cat out.

Dog is an old-man pittie who I got from a family who couldn't have him anymore.

Cat: A rescued demon that I got from the local animal shelter. He wasn't even neglected guys, his owner passed away, the family couldn't keep him & surrendered him to the shelter. So he HAS NO FUCKING REASON to be an asshole. None. Whatsoever.

Dog: Steps outside & watches me from the porch.

Cat: Runs off into oblivion...

Dog: Comes right back in.

Cat: Stays out into oblivion FOREVER!! It's freezing & my high ass is thinking "This cat is a dick!!!! I should just fucking leave him out there. ALL NIGHT! Would serve him right" (as I call for him the 8th time) (This was written not too long after I got Demon Cat, nowadays I let him stay outside if he doesn't come in the first few times I call him.) My neighbors probably get a chuckle or two on my behalf, hearing me yell at or for my animals. They probably also think I belong in a room with padded walls....

Finally this fucker demon cat comes inside... to what???...

Go STRAIGHT to the fucking litterbox.....like literally straight to it, I glared at that grey tail for a long ass time. He should have done that while he was out in oblivion forever. Then this DICK of a demon cat meows to go back outside....

My old dog gave up & is snoring in the corner.

Moments like these make me wonder why the hell I like cats more than dogs???

Then I remember the neediness....the dog farts.... & the pitbull stubbornness.

Demon Cat: I SHIT YOU NOT IS LITERALLY IN THE FUCKING LITTERBOX AGAIN AS I TYPE.....

I honestly wasn't even going to write again today, I was just going to zone out & be comfy & WARM, not on my phone, but I guess I had to tell you the joys of being a single Beautiful Disaster Lit. I just wanted to lay in bed, stoned AF off my friends brownies & some GDP... my love 😍 & (FAMILY CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!!!! DAUGHTER, ESPECIALLY YOU....CLOSE EM.....CLOSE THEM!!!)

*cough*

get laid or

*cough*

masturbate.

#Notsorry

These fucking animals make going to bed some nights a NIGHTMARE, if I am home alone. Like aren't animals supposed to be protective & will ward off an intruder, not my fuckin animals....not them. My cat is meowing but he's meowing at my closed door now. Does he even know what he wants?!

I hate him....(Not really,)

By the end of the night, I had to switch to a chick flick because I wanted to actually pay attention when I watched AHS & I can't when I'm writing.

Ok guys, my cat is licking his butt...

I'm done, I'm done....I'm too goddamn lit to edit anymore anyways.....

Thank you for reading! BDL out!

🖤💋💨