The Fear of the Lack of Money: Side Hustles Are Hazardous to My Mental Health
- Willow Williams
- Jul 4, 2024
- 4 min read
Since I didn't have a job for a couple of months, I've been super stressed out about money. I cut my spending way back, but that didn't feel like enough. And even though I was on unemployment and had savings I could've dipped into if I needed to, I didn't feel secure. I still don't. So I did what many people do. I started side hustling.
Side hustle #1. I started a business. I am the proud owner/operator of eQuality Accounting LLC. My mission statement is, "Serving the Tri-Cities, WA and beyond with small business consulting and accounting services with a focus on women and LGBTQIA+ owned businesses." Cool, huh?! So if you know anyone with a small business that needs quality accounting at reasonable rates, I call it "Pay-As-You-Go" accounting, send them my way!
Side hustle #2. I started freelance writing, ghost writing essentially. It pays awful, but I like the thought of getting paid for my art. If I could make a living writing, I would quit everything and do it. It's just a lot of work to become a full-time writer, but I am also afraid that if I turn my art into my livelihood, I will cease to art. Probably wouldn't happen, but the fear is enough to stymie me.
Side hustle #3. Critter/house sitting through Rover. I can't have animals in my current living situation, so I thought I would scratch the itch for a furry companion by taking care of other people's critters, and make a little money while I was at it. I am currently at my fourth sitting gig in three weeks. For the most part, I am enjoying it. The critters are great, and are glad for my company. Plus, they are great listeners. They force me to get out of my head and focus on the care of another being. Great therapy, that. If only their owners were as amicable as the critters. Sigh…
All of that, and a brand new full-time job. I am four weeks day old at the time of writing. Luckily, I am really enjoying the job. It's has a much friendlier atmosphere, my coworkers are actually humans and not vultures, and the work is interesting enough to keep me challenged, but not overwhelmed. Best of all, I can leave work at work, rather than ruminating over it at home until the next day.
This is where you are all thinking something like, "What the fork, Willow! That's a lot of stuff happening all at once!"
And you're right. I thought I could handle all these side hustles, and I can, provided, I plan better. Four sitting gigs in three weeks is too much. I haven't been home since the 2nd weekend of June! I haven't been able to freelance as much as I thought I'd be able to because I didn't realize how attached I was to my writing process and space at home. It's even hard to write this right now, and these articles come relatively easily to me. And forget about focusing on my business. I need to market more, it's hard to build a business with only two clients, but I just don't have the steam. Who wants advice and help from a burnt out accountant???
So how did I let myself get so deeply buried in making money rather than making a life? I think it comes down to fear, specifically the fear of the lack of money. For the first time in my entire life, I am on my own for everything, housing, food, insurance, car maintenance, ya know, all the things that come with adulting. While this is actually an excellent thing, considering the situation I got out of, I didn't realize how adulting on my own would be so scary regarding the money side of things. I am literally terrified of not being able to pay my bills, to where it keeps me up at night and made me side hustle all my free time away. How do I fix this?
Step one, I am going to rearrange these side hustles to be more manageable. Done and done. I already have it planned out in my head.
Step two, remind myself often that I am really alright financially. I have made "I am financially stable" one of my daily affirmations.
Step three, be smart with my money. I have plans, budgets, savings, the whole nine around my income and my spending. The idiom "well begun is half done" popped into my head. (I swear Mary Poppins said this originally, but upon looking it up, it was Aristotle. Neat!) Having a plan and sticking to it helps quell my fears, in more areas of my life than just in the money department.
Step four, adjust how I think about money. My lifestyle is no longer what it was. I used to go out and buy whatever I wanted without having to worry about money. That's not the case anymore, and I need to accept that and adjust. It's not the end of the world if I can't do that anymore. I have my mental health and my freedom now, and those things are priceless. My mental health trumps all, and too many side hustles are hazardous to my mental health. I haven't been able to do the things that bring me stability and joy the last few weeks because I've just been too damn busy. That's not good. I was so down yesterday that I watched Scrubs for 8 hours straight. I've made so much progress in the last 6 weeks, I don't want to go back to where I was, ever.
It all boils down to having a healthy, balanced relationship with money, just like all the other aspects of your life. And like all relationships, it takes time to heal and grow.
One thing is for damn sure though, I am beyond excited to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night.
And I am glad I am done writing this article. Maybe now, my head will be disco free, but probably not.
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