Am I the Only Person on the Planet That Can Kill a Peace Lily?

I consider myself a good plant parent. And like any parent of flora or fauna, I have my strengths and my weaknesses, my successes and failures, my innate ability to nature, to nurture, to neither.

For example, last year I was the queen of tomatoes! I planted two types, cherry and beefy varieties, in two wine barrels in my mom's backyard. Now I'm not sure if it was the perfect weather for tomatoes or what. Perhaps I channeled the tomato gods, and they bestowed great favor on me, but my crop should have failed. I committed the ultimate gardening sins. I planted too many plants in too small a space. There was the over-watering, the under-watering, the forgetting-to-watering. Towards the end of the season, I threw a lot of them away in a vain attempt to redden them quicker outside under a plastic shower curtain from the $1.00 store. But despite all that, I had fresh tomatoes available well into October. Before the first frost, I pick a bunch of green ones to ripen on the counter, and I made several batches of sauce and cut up a bunch to freeze. In spite of me, success!

And then there's my peace lily, my peace lily, one of the easiest plant to keep alive. In their article on peace lily care, bloomscape.com says, "These stately shade-loving plants are not only easy to care for but are excellent at cleaning the air of a home or office. Their deep green leaves and large white blooms add a touch of flair to any indoor space." (1.) So why are my lily's leaves turning brown, why are her flowers dying quickly, and why does she give off an overall "woe is me!" vibe?

I'll admit to not being the best plant parent in 2023 for my indoor plant family. I had a lot going on, most of it was bad. Lots of things in my life got neglected for a while, but fear not! I am on the road back to Rightlivingston!

So when I woke up and noticed my lily was not in good shape, like any parent, I panicked. This was in November. My first plan of action was watering. If the leaves are drying out and getting brown, it must need more water, right? Wrong. Next, I tried cutting it back. Now I don't know if you've noticed this about a peace lily, but new leaves shoot up off of old leave's stems. So in cutting old ones, you might cut off new ones. I'm sure there's a way to cut them back correctly, but in my panic, did I look that information up? Of course not. I just hacked it way back. Not good. Most recently, I've cut back the watering, only cut off leaves that are truly dead and not attached to a new leaf, and added new soil and fertilizer. Did that help? Kinda? My old leaves are still half brown, only half of my new leaves are making it without withering, no new flowers, and her vibe has gone from "woe is me" to "EMO death stare." My poor baby!

All this has me feeling extremely guilty. I am filled to the brim with shouldas. I should've paid more attention, acted sooner, done better research, asked for help, prayed more, talked to her more, touched her more, played Rachmaninoff instead of Beethoven for her, and on and on and on and on. Not sure what to do next. Suggestions welcome. I will keep you posted on her condition in future articles, so make sure you check out my new post every Thursday at 6:25 pm for updates.

shame-free self-promotion complete

I was my peace lily last year. It was literally a year of crisis. I spend the entire month of August in bed. And everyone was throwing cures at me. My mom, bless her heart, left me boxes of oyster crackers randomly. Her love language is carbs. My friend Mario said I just needed to get laid. Another friend said exercise was the key. I mean, I literally heard it all. And all I wanted to do was scream at anyone who suggested anything. Somehow I didn't, and would just sigh a thank you. They all meant well. And they there were coming from a place of love for me.

But none of it was what I needed. I needed to work through it in my own way. No one asked me what that looked like, what I needed, and I think that's more key than people realize. I appreciated my tribe and their efforts for sure. My point is everyone processes things differently, and to truly help someone, I think it's helpful to ask, "How can I support you through this?" rather than say something trite like "You just need to get out more."

And you can ask yourself that question too. If you are having a rough day, ask yourself, "Self, what do you need to help you get through this, process that, or calm down so you don't go to jail b/c you punched your annoying coworker in the face." (I might have a lot of annoying coworker angst to work through.) Checking in with yourself regularly, daily, even hourly on the bad days, can really help keep you focused on a solution and not those pesky emotions that often cloud our judgements.

All this to say, take care of those you love in a way that's meaningful to them. That includes YOU, you wonderful, amazing human being! Take care of yourself, gosh darn it! Love your people. Love yourself. We are all we have in this world in the end.

For more information about supporting loved ones through hard times, check out this article: https://psychcentral.com/health/how-to-help-someone-with-trauma#what-to-say-and-avoid

Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/white-petaled-flower-with-green-leaves-Q8_8Dc0WIAI?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

1. https://bloomscape.com/plant-care-guide/peace-lily/